Waterfalls and Bowling Alleys

The next day the girls, Dan and myself hired push bikes to ride around town. A few minutes in Dan & I saw a temple we wanted to check out. Tess’s way of saying she didn’t want to see it was to keep quiet, turn her head away and keep pedalling. Peach followed Tess so Dan and I ended up on our own for the day. Probably a good thing since I think the girls had different ideas about what they wanted to do for the day. We spent the day riding around looking at the great buildings and views across the river.

The next day Dan & I went on a morning tour of a nearby cave that supposedly houses 4000 Buddhas. It was crap. Certainly not worth wasting half a day on at any rate. Although I did buy some local whiskey, called lao-lao, made from sticky rice at a village we stopped at on the way. It’s the sort of stuff that warms your innards whilst relieving you of your stomach lining. I knocked back several shots of it a day whilst I had it.

In the afternoon all four of us went to some waterfalls that were easily the best I’ve seen. The water was a beautiful aqua color and there were several waterfalls that you could check out within a few seconds or minutes walk depending on how far you wanted to go.

When we got back late in the arvo I had a nap and didn’t wake up until 9pm. Peach was asleep so I headed out alone to check out the night market and grab a bite to eat. Whilst strolling around I bumped into an Argentinian who I’d met on the slow boat and he invited me down to the river later to drink whiskey with a couple of other guys from the boat. After a delicious bowl of noodle soup with what looked like Bolognese sauce in it I headed down to the river and found them.

There was myself, the Argentinian (Luis), a Frenchman (Kevin) and a Chilean who’s name I can’t recall sitting at a table near the river enjoying a few whiskey & cokes and shooting the breeze. When we finished the bottle the guys asked me if I wanted to “cruise” with them. I assumed this meant hit the town. We decided to head to the one place in town that was open after 11:30pm – the bowling alley. We got a tuk-tuk there since it was a few k’s from the centre of town. When we walked in there was only a few people there. Within a couple of minutes though 30-50 more people ploughed through the doors. The bars must have just closed.

The bowling alley was a surreal experience to say the least. There was loads of pissed tourists plus a few locals pushing dope and opium – which was being smoked in the toilet. Heaps of people from the slow boat were there too. My whiskey buddies and I bowled a game then we mingled about the crowd – people outnumbered bowling capacity so most just stood around drinking. Dan and Tess had shown up too. Dan and I got stuck into each other about our respective cricket teams and placed bets about the next Ashes tour in England.

About 2:30am I was getting tired and a few people were leaving so I decided to join them. We beat a tuk-tuk driver down to a ridiculous price by threatening to walk all the way back to town and convincing him there was no one else left in the bowling alley and amazingly he caved.

Slowboat to Luang Prabang (Part 2)

The next morning it was yet another minor stress regarding transport. When leaving out guesthouse I told our tuk-tuk driver to take us to the “boat” but he thought I said “bus” so he took us in entirely the wrong direction. So now were were running late while we waited for the driver to drop some other people off and turn around and take us to the boat. As expected though the boat was being crammed full of people so it would be a while before it left.

In fact the boat was even more jammed with people than the previous day. This time we had 9 hours to spend on the boat and it looked like I’d have to stand outside the toilet door the entire trip. The other option was cramming in with some others in the engine room – which stank of fumes, was boiling hot and very loud. Every other spot on the boat was taken. There were people standing in the aisles and others crouched under other peoples seats.

It looked like shaping up to be a torturous day when word filtered down that for nearly double the cost of the slow boat ride one could jump ship and get on a speed boat far less people that arrived in Luang Prabang in just 3 hours! I was keen to jump ship. I leapt out a window, scrambled across the boat next to us and on to the shore to check out the situation.

It turns out it wasn’t a speed boat but another slow boat. However, this boat had only 20 or so people on it and it had very nice looking leather seats. Much better than the wooden benches or hard floor on the other boat. Also the price was only slightly higher than the original boat. The catch was that even if the ticket inspector had already collected money for the first boat you still had to pay again. The tickets weren’t transferable and I’d already paid for mine. Those that hadn’t already paid for tickets happily left for the other boat without a second thought. I um’d and ah’d for a while and eventually decided to stay put. The minor exodus of people to the other boat left quite a bit of space free at the front of the boat (well away from the engine room and toilet) so I ended up with a pretty good spot similar to the day before. I sat on a bag of rice for most of the way. It was a better ride than the day before. Several of the people around me I’d met the day previous so there was plenty of conversation, in between reading and ipod action, to while away the day.

When we got to Luang Prabang I was immediately struck by its beauty. Loads of lovely French colonial buildings. Rather than follow a tout we set off on foot to find a place to stay. The night before we’d lacked all the creature comforts so the girls were looking for a ‘nice’ (read: plush) place to stay. Tess was going to share a room with a young English guy called Dan who we’d met along the way.

After trudging around for ages Dan & I waited outside one guesthouse while the girls went off to check out more rooms. After a while they returned and had found a place. So we set off again with our bags. A few metres up the road Dan & I were stopped by some travellers who were asking about the boat ride – since they were thinking of doing it the opposite direction to Thailand. The girls didn’t noticed we’d stopped and kept going. Dan & I had no idea where they went or where we were supposed to be staying. We assumed it would be along the river somewhere so we just kept walking and walking and….walking. After a kilometre or more we turned back reasoning that there’s no way it would be this far. Our bags felt like a tonne by this time so we left them with a guesthouse owner while we set off to find the girls.

Eventually Peach rode past on a push bike. Apparently the place we were staying was just around the corner from where the other travellers stopped us. Bugger! So with aching backs we collected our bags and walked back to our ‘nice’ rooms. Immediately I jumped in the shower to cool off. Then I got Peach to rub some tiger balm on my back – too much was applied though and it felt like my skin was melting – ouch!! After a few minutes the pain subsided and my back felt much better.

Slowboat to Luang Prabang (Part 1)

To get to Laos we booked a 3 day journey that entailed a day in a minivan from Chiang Mai to the Thai border town. Then two days on a slow boat before arriving in Luang Prabang in Laos.

The bus ride was pretty uneventful. Peach and Tess had spent our last night in Chiang Mai getting wasted at the reggae bar while I had an early one. They were in a world of pain for the entire bus ride. Ha Ha!

The Thai border town, Chiang Khong was just what you’d expect from a town that people only stop at because they have to – boring. So it was a fairly early night.

The next morning we caught a pick up a few hundred metres to the Thai Immigration point. After passing through we go a small boat across the river to Laos. At the Laos immigration point we filled out some forms and paid the officers a compulsory “overtime” charge for working on a Saturday. Next we hauled our gear up the street and and around the corner to a cafe where we were given some local currency to buy our boat tickets for the next two days. Next it was on to a pick-up truck and off to the pier where we signed in and bought our tickets before we finally got on the boat. The whole process took about an hour.

At the guesthouse in Chiang Khong they were selling cushions for use on the boat. We’d heard the seats weren’t that comfortable and this didn’t bode well. We got a cushion each – without a doubt once of the best investments of the trip. We should have got two.

The boat was jam packed full of people. There was probably 150-200 people on the boat – very much over capacity. There was no food on board but they sold beer. Everyone shared a single toilet. Hmmm lots of beer for sale, one toilet. I did the maths on that and resolved to stay sober. By the time we got on any chance of getting a seat was long gone. Luckily there was a flat wooden floored section up the front. I managed to get a spot there up against the side of the boat so I had a back rest too. By the time we were on our way there was hardly any room to move – but there was enough to make the odd adjustment and throughout the 8 hour journey it go roomier as people moved around the boat (although I’m not sure how it worked out this way).

Here’s a pic of the people on the boat.

Some people were bitching and moaning about the conditions on the boat but others were making the most of it. Plenty of people got stuck into the beers and a few others had guitars so there was plenty of merriment and singing. After a little while a party atmosphere developed and I ended up meeting loads of people that I’d see over and over during my time in Laos.

The first night in Laos we stopped at a town called Pak Beng. This was another town that didn’t really have anything going for it except that people passed through. There were plenty of locals ready to supply fresh tourists with dope and opium as well – not quiet the same fake designer gear I’d been used to in Thailand. I declined all offers. I noticed that some of those locals selling opium looked very pasty and clammy.

During dinner I had my first Beer Lao in Laos. I’d been looking forward to it since trying it in Cambodia a couple of years earlier. It’s a great beer but I actually have to rate Myanmar Draught higher. Plus Myanmar Draught was on tap whereas most other South-East Asian beers tend to be sold in bottles the vast majority of the time. Still I’m a huge fan of Beer Lao.

To be continued….

We’ve got Pai

Whilst Songkran was still on Peach & I decided to escape to the hills for a few days of rancho relaxo. We got to the bus station nice and early before the water onslaught started for the day. However just as our bus was leaving some kids through a couple of buckets of water through the open doors and it landed right on us. Point to them for stealth I’ve gotta say.

The doors on most public buses are always open in Thailand. This allows people to get on and off quickly and also provides natural air conditioning. Every now and again throughout the 3 or 4 hour bus ride water would come splashing though the door. Eventually the doors were closed but still some would get in.

Originally Peach was going to go to Pai by herself but I ended up tagging along. We have a deal when travelling that one person can go off and do their own thing when ever they like. That way no one has to compromise much on places we go. Early in the trip I was off by myself while the girls were on the Thai Gold Coast. Then at one point later on we were all in different places at once. This time I thought I’d give Peach some space so we stayed at different places. It didn’t really work out as planned though since we ended up spending most of the time together anyway.

In Pai I found a lovely place to stay – a set of very basic bamboo bungalows on the river bank. Just a matress, a mozzie net and a light are supplied. I had a hammock on my porch too which is always a winner. After a quick trip to a local store to buy some supplies I spent the rest of the day chilling out in my hammock or down by the river bank.

First impressions of Pai were very positive. It’s kind of a groovy little town with just a couple of main roads. There’s a very relaxed vibe. It’s the kind of place I can imagine Westerners would drop out and come to live.

On the first evening in Pai I bumped into Peach at an Indian restaurant. She’d scored a great place to stay, similar to mine but much more uber. She even had a computer in her bungalow with free internet access.

The next day we hired a motorbike and headed towards some natural springs nearby. Unfortunately the admission price was a rip off so we found a resort up the road that charged 90% less and had pumped the same spring water into several pools in their grounds. The pools were bloody hot though so after a few minutes we had to sit with most of our bodies out of the water.

After a nice lunch at the resort we headed back into town to the tourist office and got directions to some waterfalls we’d heard about. Songkran was still on although not with as much force as it was in Chiang Mai. Still every few hundred metres we’d get water thrown at us and we progressively got wetter and wetter. It wasn’t a particularly warm day so with the wind from riding the motorbike and our wet clothes we were pretty cold as we zoomed along the road.

Peach was trying her hardest to put on a brave face eventually it got too much, she was freezing cold. We turned around and headed back to the bungalow to a hot shower – coping several more doses of cold water on the way. By this stage I was getting a bit over all the water throwing too but still gave a laugh whenever we got hit – after all it’s an important national festival and who am I to poo-poo the fun.

The next day was supposed to be the last day of Songkran and although most people went back to their normal routine there were still a few people getting into it. In response we slipped into a relaxing routine for the next couple of days. We’d potter around in the mornings doing our own thing then in the afternoon we’d head up to a local pool/gym/bar which had seen better days but was a fun place to hang out. It was run by an stunning English girl and her Thai husband. Peach loved the girl’s accent and declared her intentions to develop the same one once we got to the UK.

I decided to do a work out at the gym. It reminded me of the kind of place someone would train at in the movies – you know the kind: where some guy’s family gets killed so he goes off, finds a master to train him, lives in some remote place and buffs up before coming back at the end and taking revenge. Or did I just watch too many crap movies as a kid? Hmmm…

After 4 nights in Pai it was time to head back to Chiang Mai. The original plan was to head back to Chiang Mai, stay the night then head off on a 3 day bus/boat trip to Laos. When I called our travel agent mate, Tom, he couldn’t get us on to the boat until the day after meaning we’d have to spend another day in Chiang Mai. Not the best scenario since we’d already spent so much time there but it did give us a chance to knock a few things off the to-do list.

Songkran

Songkran is a water festival to celebrate the new year in Thailand. It’s basically where the whole country stops and has a full on water fight for 4 or so days. In Chiang Mai it’s apparently celebrated with more gusto than anywhere else in the country – so although there’s 4 big days of water fighting you can expect to get soaked for a few days leading up to that too.

Chiang Mai has an old moat around the inner part of the city that’s still got water in it. There are main roads on both sides of it. A typical day runs like this: People line either side of the the moat and the main streets armed with water pistols, super soakers, buckets and water else they can get their hands on. Then they proceed to drench anyone that walks, rides or drives past. No one is spared. Those on the moat side of the road If you aren’t on the side of the road use the moat to refill their ammunition, those on the other side have hoses coming out of shops, restaurants and bars constantly filling up large drums to give them ample water supplies.

Meanwhile those that are driving around in traffic aren’t to be out done. Pickup trucks are the main type of car on the road in these parts and these will usually have 5-12 people in the back along with a full drum of water and the necessary arms to dish out their own attacks.

Traffic crawls around the moat while everyone blasts each other with water – all with a smile and good spirits. The bars open early and pump music out onto the street and Thais and tourists dance, drink and get soaked together having a great time of it. It’s not just for kids either. There were entire families getting into it and plenty of people over 50 giving as good as they got. The more enterprising people were buying huge blocks of ice off the street and putting them in their drums. This made the water ice cold. I gotta tell you I’d prefer to be blasted with manky but warm moat water over a bucket of iced tap water any day. Especially when it was flying out of the back of a pickup and smacking into your back – that bloody hurts! Brrrr!

The water fights aren’t confined to the main streets. It doesn’t matter where you go you’re bound to get soaked from head to toe and stay that way until you go home to change. We were staying just inside the moated area about 100m from the main road. Kids lay in ambush all around. I was always soaked within seconds of leaving the guesthouse. The only time it’s safe to walk the streets is before 10am or after 6pm when the sun starts going down. Any other time and you’re a target. As a result I’ve got no photos since the camera would have been wrecked. Some brave souls had their cameras out anyway. Check their photos here.

If you can’t beat them join them. I stocked up with a 1.8 litre super soaker, a half litre hand gun and a small bucket and hit the streets. One of my favourite moments was when we were standing out the front of a nice hotel having a war with the people across the road next to the moat. This part of the street was blocked to traffic but a bus load of people had to get through to drop people at the hotel. At first we formed a blockade and soaked the bus. Then we let it through. It parked out the front of the hotel entrance and the poor bastards inside had a 20 metre dash from the bus door to the inside of the hotel where staff were waiting for them with fresh towels. Ha Ha!! We formed a guard of honour that the tourists could dash along. Those that couldn’t get right up close were perched in readiness wherever they could position them selves to get a good shot. Turns out the bus was full of westerners in their 50s and 60s. They had no idea what they’d gotten themselves into. As each one took it in turns to leave the bus the hundred or so people taking aim would unload on them so that they were absolutely drenched by the time they got inside. It was gold!

I wasn’t always on the attacking side though. One day Peach and I took a large tuk-tuk up a mountain nearby to check out a temple there. The one we got was lucky enough to have closed sides but unfortunately it had an open back. The traffic was a nightmare so we’d often be in gridlock when someone would run out behind the tuk-tuk and throw a bucket of water in at us. My attempts at defense with my super soaker where hopeless under such incursions. After artfully dodging a couple of buckets with minimal impact one got me front on. As expected I got soaked. From then on it was a no fear situation and I regularly hung out the back of the vehicle and unloaded on anyone within range.

Long live Songkran!

Thai Feast

The cooking course we signed up in Chiang Mai was heaps of fun. As was often the case we met some really cool people. The conversations were as good as the food. The food was frightfully quick to cook (admittedly some of it was pre-chopped for us) and it tasted awesome. I’m a curry man from way back but only cook Thai curry’s once it a while. Indian’s more my game. But I had a ball cooking up Thai food all day. Part of it was that the food was just so good, part of it was that I was happy to be out and about again after being sick on my arse for 3 days and the other part of it was that I hadn’t cooked since leaving Australia and I was bursting to get back into a kitchen.

First thing we did was head down to the local market and buy the ingredients.

There were two menus, of 5 courses each, that you could choose to cook. We chose one each – that way we got to sample everything on offer

I liked Peach’s panang curry and chicken with cashew nuts best so I’ve already started hinting that she’s welcome to take on more of the cooking duties. We’ll see on that one. In fact writing this reminds me to bring her up on it.

Here’s a pics of some of the dishes. Despite the threat of bird flu breaking out every dish we cooked had chicken in it. Bird flu? What bird flu?

Sick

Chiang Mai has the best markets of anywhere else in China. There’s only one market full of dodgey crap. The rest of it is the sort of stuff that I could be bothered carrying in my backpack I would have spent up big on. I spent my first two nights in Chiang Mai after our return from the trek wondering around markets. There was heaps of interesting snack foods around. Half the time I didn’t know what I was eating. Usually I’d just get one word descriptions such as ‘chicken’, ‘pork’ or ‘vegetable’. I didn’t mind. I was loving it. I was like a kind in a candy store going from one food stall to another buying little deep fried balls of something, then heading over to another stall for a leaf filled with something else, then a skewer with something else on it. It was all gold as far as I was concerned. Even the bugs – yes, the bugs. I’d tried these in BKK on my first night there and they’re actually a delicious snack. I liked grasshoppers and little frogs best. I don’t know what they put in that seasoning but it was yum. I didn’t think much of cockroaches or beetles though – too messy since you have to pry open the shell and scoop the goop out with your teeth. You could get a mixed bag of fried bugs for about a dollar – just like getting a bag of mixed lollies from the milk bar when I was a kid

A couple of days later I woke up feeling really average. I was sick. Boo! I reckon it was from a curry I ate late one night on the way home from the Reggae bar that had become a regular hang out but there’s every chance I ate something dodgey at the market. Noooo!! I struggled out of bed for an hour or two in the morning in an bold defiant effort. No good though. Soon I was back in bed and that’s pretty much where I stayed for the next three days.

For the first day of being sick I lay in bed as the odd fever would come and go. Whenever the fever came I felt like vomitting but I hate puking and I’ve only done it once due to illness in my adult life and I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve done so from being drunk. I prefer to let the room spin than have a chunder. But every time this fever came on I knew my body wanted me to hurl. When I was alone I was able to focus and fight it off but later on in the evening Peach and Tess were in the room chatting in the middle of a fever attack. The noise of them talking was making me feel even sicker and I couldn’t concentrate at all. Next thing I knew I was dashing for the bin by the door and up it all came. Bugger! The room must have stunk cuz there was loads of it coming out. Always putting others first I unlocked the door and flung it open. Tess bolted out of the room. Peach stay to lend support before heading off to get a new bag for the bin. I’ve gotta brag here. My aim was spot on. There may have been one tiny splash on the floor and that was it. Immediately I felt better for a little while before the crapness started again. After another hurl later on and plenty of trips to the loo I was well and truly over it.

After 3 days I was sick (pardon the pun) of being couped up in the room so Peach and I signed up for a cooking course. I still hadn’t really eaten a proper solid meal and when we booked it the night before I was still pretty rough but I ended up pulling through ok.

Trekkin’

The people I met on my first night in Chiang Mai had invited me to a lake they were going to the next day. In the morning I was feeling the effects of the last couple of days being constantly on the move so decided not to join them. Instead I strolled around and got my bearings.

I bumped into Tom, the travel agent from the night before, who took me to his office and pitched a variety of treks and other things to me. He was a really nice guy so I didn’t mind that he was doing a sell job on me. By the end of the day I’d tracked down the girls and signed us all up to a trek starting the next day. Whilst we were gone I got Tom to organise our Laos visas – after the mission surrounding getting the Myanmar visas I couldn’t be bothered with the hassle this time around.

The trek was a two night three day affair. We had a really cool group. Everyone got on well and we had heaps of interesting conversations. We ended up hanging out with two of the guys, Ben & James, for most of the rest of our time in Chiang Mai.

On the first day we did some bamboo rafting. I though it would be boring but it was gold – especially since I was up front trying to steer the thing with 3 others hangin’ tough behind me. It got pretty intense when we hit the rapids. At one stage I didn’t steer us away from a rock in time and I went flying A over T into the water. Luckily I got away with a slightly bruised hand – not bad since I landed on a bed of rocks. No wucken furries.

The rest of the trek consisted mostly of walking though jungle or rice fields for a couple of hours then swimming near waterfalls for an hour then repeating it all again. Good stuff.

On the first evening we stayed in a bamboo shelter on the bank of a river. The next night we stayed with a hill tribe in their village. They cooked up a storm for us. Yummo! After seeing the kitchen they had to work with I won’t be complaining about any kitchen I have to deal with again.

Got to hand it to these tribes people for their inventiveness. Check out the dish rack.

After three days of soaking up nature’s beauty we headed back to Chiang Mai.

Bangkok to Chiang Mai

We arrived at Bangkok Airport without a problem. Having spent so much time in Bangkok previously I wasn’t keen on double dipping so we proceeded with a plan to go to Chiang Mai in the north of Thailand. We caught a taxi to the appropriate bus terminal, which was massive, and found that the next available bus to Chiang Mai was in an hour and a half. Plenty of time to grab a decent feed and reflect on the previous 22-odd hours of being on the road. Since we’d be getting to our destination quite late in the evening Peach had the foresight to pick a guesthouse out of the LP guide and ring ahead to reserve a room and arrange a transfer from the bus station. It was the first time I’d booked accommodation since the very first night in Bangkok at the start of the trip.

The bus trip was 10 hours. It was a pleasure to be on Thai buses and roads after the amusement ride-esque ones in Myanmar. There’s essentially one long straight highway from Bangers to Chiang Mai so it’s a lovely smoothe ride. On long-haul buses in Thailand are ace. The seats recline a mile, you get a foot rest, there’s a hostess who hands out treats, the air-con is pumping (too much), you get your own blanket, there’s a toilet on board and it’s pretty easy to get some sleep. Rancho Relaxo.

Unfortunately since it was about 1:30pm by the time the bus left my body clock had me wide awake, despite my lack of sleep the night before. Sleeping on the bus wasn’t an immediate option. Instead there was a Hollywood film dubbed in Thai on the onboard TV. Even though I can’t speak Thai I could still follow the story line. That either says a lot about my perception skills or a lot about Hollywood films. Hmmm. Anyway it was a Ray Liotta film. He was a bad arse who got sent to a tropical island that was actually a prison. The feds just dump you there and leave you to your own devices. They monitor the island around the clock and if any escape attempts are made they send in the choppers and blow up whatever shelter the prisoners have managed to build. Anyhow it was quite enjoyable – I’ll have to watch it again one day in English and see how it compares.

In the end I did manage to squeeze a couple of hours sleep in on the bus and by the time we rolled into Chiang Mai at 11:30pm I was feeling quite refreshed. Unfortunately we told our guesthouse the wrong arrival time so they weren’t at the bus station to pick us up. So we caught a tuk-tuk instead. The guesthouse was all closed up when we arrived. We banged on the door and someone woke up. At first they tried to tell us they were full and then we convinced them that we’d booked a room so they couldn’t be and they let us in.

There was some reggae music blaring near our guesthouse and since I didn’t feel like sleeping I headed out to see where it was. I found it was a cool little bar with a mix of locals and backpackers. I met a local called Tom who rang a travel agent business. I also got talking to several Brits. It was a good night shooting the breeze and I didn’t end up in bed until about 2:30am. It’d been a long couple of days!

The Bagan Temples and The Race Against the Clock

We were up around 5am for the second day in a row. This morning we were off to see the sunrise from one of the temples in Bagan. Awesome. This was going to be a great day.

The sun set wasn’t that spectacular but the views from the top of the temple certainly were. After a while hanging out there and taking photos we headed back to the hotel for a quick breaky. Despite charging my camera the night before it was nearly flat. This may have been just the first time I’d had to charge it all trip so it gives a good innings but this sucked. I don’t know why but this seems to happen every time I charge it. It’s like one charge flattens it and screws me then the next time it’s ok. It also has a knack for going flat at big ticket items. I recall a couple of years previous it died while I was at the temple of Anchor in Cambodia. Luckily Peach had her camera so I took charge of it once my camera finally gave up.

Starting so early we were able to get lots done before it got really hot around 11am. I was full of energy though. The temples were so amazing that I couldn’t get enough of them. After a long day checking we got back at our hotel around 2:30pm. That probably doesn’t seem like a long day but when you get up before dawn and are on the go virtually the whole time it is.

Peach and I collected our bags from the hotel staff and waited for Tess. She wasn’t around. The bus was due to leave at 3:30pm and if we weren’t on it we’d miss our flight. We were supposed to get to the bus stop half an hour before departure. As was customary Peach started peaking out – ranting that Tess was inconsiderate and putting at at risk of missing the flight. As expected (by me at least) Tess showed up with a few minutes before 3pm and we made it to the bus stop just in time. But the fun was only just beginning.

The heat was beating down and the coolest place to wait was on the bus which was idling at the stop. Although our tickets were for the fold out middle seats we were told we could sit in normal seats for the first hour until some more people got on at another stop. You beauty!

Just as the bus was pulling out of the station the engine died. Uh oh.

We all jumped off and watched the local men jump into action. They pulled a panel off the side of the bus to reveal a massive stash of spare parts and tools. Obviously they were prepared. As scripted Peach started cursing the world and everything in it. I tried all sorts of methods of getting her to chill out – but to no avail. After I suggested that perhaps she should try some relaxation exercises I was told to “stop fucking preaching”. So I did. I found it all very amusing. For the best part of an hour the blokes toiled away at the back of the bus then we were finally on our way. Our estimates now put our arrival time in Yangon at sometime between 6-6:30am. Our flight left at about 8:30 – so it was going to be tight. We had no idea it was from the bus station to the airport once we arrived in Yangon.

After an hour we stopped in another town and picked up more passengers. We had to switch seats but Peach and I were lucky enough to get a couple of seats in the back row while Tess got one closer to the front. Hopefully it would be another couple of hours before we had to move into the middle.

It turns out that we ended up getting to keep the two back seats for the duration of the trip but about 3 or 4 hours in Tess had to move into one of the middle seats. I offered to take it instead, you know – gentleman and all, but she said she didn’t mind.

The problem with having a seat in the middle of the bus – besides the fact it doesn’t have a proper back rest and that you bounce around even more so than usual thanks to Myanmar’s pothole riddled roads – is that every couple of hours or so the bus stops for a toilet break. So if anyone in a seat behind you wants to get up (and they always do) then you have to get up too. So even if you’re lucky enough to get to sleep (and you never are) you’re bound to be interrupted after a short while.

In the back row I managed to snatch a few minutes sleep at one point before Tess finally asked if she could take my seat. I obliged and took hers. No more sleep for me. I think it was probably 1am by this point. I’d been awake for the best part of 20 hours and had tramped around Bagan checking out temples all day and now I had almost 6 more hours in the middle seat of a bumpy 14 hour bus ride before a flight to Bangkok and then another 10 hour bus ride to Chiang Mai. I was delirious with tiredness. My eyes were so sore from wanting to sleep that it stung to open them.

For the next few hours my mind played all sorts of tricks on me. Every now and then I’d open my eyes for few miniutes and notice that we were fanging down a dirt/sand path not really wide enough for two vehicles. We’d break suddenly every few minutes to crawl around a broken down truck or allow another to pass. Best to keep eyes shut. At one point we broke down again. This time we were on the road in what seemed like 10 minutes – but to be truthful time was blurring itself in my mind.

When the sun started coming up the driver pumped Thai pop music through the stereo system. Even with earplugs in it was still piercing. Pumping music like this was a familiar theme at dawn on buses throughout Asia. I’ve still got some of the songs in my head today.

Peach woke up at the back of the bus as we rolled into town and noticed it was nearly 6:30am – time was tight. She asked me to ask the driver if we were going past the airport. Gold idea. But unfortunately we weren’t. I could see smoke coming out of Peach’s ears. I could hear her muttering and swearing back there but chose to ignore it. She asked me to find out how much longer until we arrived but I refused – apparently that’s bad luck in Myanmar. More ear smoke.

We got to the bus station a few minutes later. Check in had already opened for our flight. There was every chance we’d miss the flight by a matter of minutes. There was nothing we could do about it though so there was no need to stress.

We started bartering with taxi drivers. The driver we took said the airport was 40 minutes away. Tick tock, tick tock. Peach stress level: CODE RED!! He quickly bailed us into his car and we headed off. He seemed quite sure we’d be late. I applied my Myanmar time filter and reckoned we’d be at the airport in 20 minutes instead of 40. And correct I was!! No need to stress. We checked in our bags and got some breakfast in the large stinking hot waiting room that housed the 2 departure gates. And we waited. And we waited. Finally the plane took off nearly an hour late – ha ha!! All this time we thought we were going to miss the flight and then it gets delayed. What a capper!